Where, as an adult, have you met good friends? Research supports that Fitness Classes are a prime place for developing strong friendships in a post-pandemic world. In her article “Ridiculous, Perfect Way to make Friends” in the Atlantic Monthly, Mikala Jamison’s wrote:
Once, countless friendships were born in what the sociologist Ray Oldenburg called “third places”: physical spaces that aren’t a home or a workplace, don’t charge (much) for entry, and exist in large part to foster conversation. Over the past several decades, though—and especially as a result of the pandemic—third places such as bars and cafés have begun playing a much smaller role in social life, depriving American adults of opportunities for chance encounters that can lead to friendships. Perhaps that’s partly why Americans rank improving their relationships among their top New Year’s resolutions.
Exercise classes create a prime environment for people to forge meaningful connections. Research points to the value of proximity, ritual and a shared experience in forming friendships. Fitness classes can make breaking the ice with someone less awkward.
You are already making time for exercise Yay you! Now you can build on that (again – proximity, ritual, shared interest) and STEP IN.
Allow yourself to become part of the group experience. Whooping at the end of a challenging segment, laughing together when learning a new movement or clapping when class is done, and you did it! (together!) creates camaraderie! BAM, not only have you sweat and burned some calories, you’ve also set the stage for friendship.
In Jamison’s article she shares information from Stephanie Roth Goldberg, an athlete psychotherapist in New York: “Automatically, when you walk into a fitness class, you likely are sharing the idea that ‘We like to exercise,’ or ‘We like to do this particular kind of exercise,’” she said. “It breaks the ice differently than standing in a bar or at someone’s house.”
Danielle Friedman, a journalist and the author of Let’s Get Physical, says that breaking through what she calls the “social code of anonymity” is key to making friends. “If you’ve been going to the same class for a while and start seeing the same people, don’t pretend like you’ve never interacted before.” Instead – ask how their week went, talk about how sore you were after the last class – or failing that, just open with “Good Job today!” as you head out of class.
Once we reach adulthood it is harder to find situations that lend themselves to fostering strong friendships – but fitness classes do! You are strengthening more than your weightlifting skills. You are building social skills – opening up and connecting with others. Even if you do not find your next bestie in Kettlebell class, going to class regularly may help you branch out in other settings. Here’s to sweating our way into new friendships in 2025.
Zumba Class All Stars: Instructors – Lisa Farrell-Waiss, Mariah Waffle, and Oly Gallagher. Special Thanks to Josh Franco Masters and Gabe De Dios.
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